So, you know how I feel about teeth, then, right? Gross. Especially the wiggly ones. Ewww. I can’t stand the wiggly ones. However, the wiggly ones don’t hold a candle to the crumbly ones.
The crumbly ones ?, you ask.
The crumbly ones, I say.
I have this reoccurring nightmare that all my teeth fall out. Slowly. One by one. Well, they start out one by one, then a sort of waterfall effect occurs and they’re all falling out.
That was the tame version of the nightmare.
The not-so-tame version is that they not only are falling out, but that they are crumbling in my mouth before they totally fall out. There are not even words or expressions possible to use on the computer to express how completely mortifying this dream is to me. I’m trying, there’s nothing.
And when I have that dream, I fully expect to feel nothing but grit and crumbs of teeth in my mouth. Always a relief when I don’t. Always.
Anyway, today, I got a glimpse of it. One of my teeth chipped! It happened to me once before. My first tooth chipped while eating at a pizzeria in Times Square. A cheese calzone. Memorable.
Today? The tooth right next to the first (both on the bottom, front) chipped while eating Subway (no, I don’t like Subway, but I’m counting calories again and they’ve got those light subs and whatnot) at a picnic bench outside of Bald Man‘s office. Not that memorable. Just annoying. And now the tip of my tongue is raw from messing with that tooth all day. Annoying.
So far, the rest of the teeth are fine. Maybe I should drink more milk. Calories, though. So, maybe I should actually start taking those calcium pills I bought when I realized I was at that age that I should probably start doing things like that. Or maybe I should just stop chewing on rocks. One of those things…
I’ll try to come up with something better for next time. 
How in the world did you chip your tooth eating Subway?? Their bread is softer than air and less substantial.
Kerri: You have seen too many cartoons! Trust me, teeth are strong suckers. As long as you don’t spend all your time drinking soda and eating sugar you should be fine. But yeah, I chipped my first tooth at Spaghetti Warehouse eating spaghetti. Don’t know how, just did.
Heien: You must have better Subways where you are. Every Subway I’ve had has been stale bread that’s just heavy to make up for lack of other ingredients.
Oh bother! I hate when that happens. One of my childhood pals chipped a tooth on a graham cracker. I have been wary of graham crackers ever since. And now Subway. Oh great, and spaghetti, too. Oh bother.
I’ve had the teeth falling out dream too. Mostly when I am very, very stressed and can’t imagine how I will fit everything in to a day that needs to go in.
I think your teeth are stronger than stress dreams. Chips aside…
Hsien: Yeah, what Rantz said. I think it started out stale. And it was toasted. Poor tooth never stood a chance.
Rantz: “As long as you don’t spend all your time drinking soda and eating sugar you should be fine.” And I thought you knew me.
Actually, it’s diet soda and stuff with Splenda. Still not good, but for other reasons, I’m sure.
Sheila: I’ll refrain from sharing my Fruit Roll Up story. Not because I think you’d still eat those, but because it’s just gross.
(And I think I was about 8 at the time.)
Kate: Hmm….that’s quite possibly a good explanation for that dream. I’d never heard that interpretation. Still, I may need to meet you in the denture cream aisle one day.