This is Memorial Day weekend. To most of us, I know this day usually amounts to little more than a day off of work, if even that. Most of the week, I’ve just been most thankful for the holiday because Bald Man will be home tomorrow. I haven’t thought much more about it.
So, tonight, I sat here getting ready to write a post for Play Library or Marriage Actually and just turned on PBS for some background noise, and they’re doing their Memorial Day tribute. Academy Award winning actors reading letters of moms who have lost their children, of others who have thought that their loved ones were brain dead after injury. Photos of parents grieving at their children’s graves at Arlington National Cemetery (where I always look to catch a glimpse of my dad’s headstone). And now I’m crying.
One of the sets of letters was written by a mom whose son died earlier this year. He was 20. 20. I’m 32. He was 20. I can’t imagine.
Earlier today, Bald Man and I were finally going through boxes of clothes, baby and toddler clothes, to pass on to friends or Goodwill. And, let me tell you, that wasn’t easy for me AT ALL. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to give up so many things, but I do know why it’s hard for me to give up the baby clothes. I touch the fabrics and see the little turtles and immediately can again feel the body of one of my newborn babies curled up warm and sleeping in my arms smelling that most pure smell that is only possessed by a newborn. I love that my kids are growing and developing and become such funny and fantastic people to live life with, but I do so miss that feeling of holding them totally and completely in my arms.
And so, I keep a few of those baby items in a special box…to remember…to share with them when they are about to bring their own babies into the world.
And I cannot, cannot, imagine having to go back to those boxes one day to, instead of sharing with my children the joy and memories I have of their infancies, to mourn my child who barely made it out of childhood. I cannot imagine, and I mourn with those parents who bear that burden today and everyday. I hope and pray comfort to you today.
btw-I’m determined to be in D.C. one Memorial Day for “Flags-In” at Arlington and for Rolling Thunder.
Kerri,
Thanks for remembering Dad…..and all other service members, (and thinking of their families) especially on Memorial Day. I for one, never forget.
Doug: I can’t imagine, seeing the things that you have, that you could forget even if you tried. Thanks for serving. Know that I’m so proud of you.