How to Remove a Small Green Truck from Under Your TV Cabinet September 20, 2006
First step: Years before you have children, find one of the most impractical TV cabinets to own in a house with kids. Make sure it is low to the ground, with only a tiny hole in the front on the floor through which all manner of small toys and such can freely enter, but not exit.
Second step: Make sure you have lots of objects to lose through such hole. Objects must be only slightly smaller than the hole, and should preferrably be oddly shaped. That ensures that, even though they go through the hole easily, they will be quite a bit of trouble to get out.
Third: Have a few kids. Wait a couple of years while they grow a bit.
Fourth: Let said kids have smallish objects which are safe for them because they won’t choke, but not safe for you because you will step on them and lose them through small holes under your TV. This should include a small green plastic truck.
Fifth: Have your two-year-old go to retrieve the small green truck in the process of cleaning up the game he was playing (see, you’re trying to instill good habits!).
Sixth: Cringe as you hear him try to grab the truck, but instead accidentally kick it, sending it sliding across the wood floor, directly into the hole which is in the cabinet that your TV sits on (a goal that you KNOW there’s no way he would have made if he’d actually been trying).
Seventh: Make some annoying “Ugh” or “Oh, great” sound.
Eighth: Attempt to retreive green truck with one of the many “rhythm sticks” that your musician sister thought would be great for you kids to “learn” with, but which they actually use, instead, as drumsticks on every surface in your home, including each other. (Thanks, sis.) Be thankful that you have the sticks, because they are now coming in handy.
Ninth: Get down on the floor and try to use a sweeping motion to reach the green truck, while not being able to see anything beyond the openening of the hole due to your big hand and said stick. Make sure to attempt this if, and only if, previously mentioned two year old is breathing right on you as he, too, attempts in vain to see the green truck through the hole.
Tenth: Dodge the array of coasters and fleeing dust bunnies, which are the only things that are making it out of the hole on the first 7 sweeps.
Eleventh: Feel victorious as you successfully retreive the green truck, and as your 2 year old sings his, “Yay, Mommy!!” song while he dances around the room with his fists pumping in the air. Join him in his dance. Feel like you’ve accomplished SOMETHING today.
Twelvth: Lather, rinse, repeat…
This post written to be included in Darren Rowse’s latest Group Writing Project at Problogger.
The title made me smile EVEN before I read your article knowing only too well what the content would contain. Young children are such a blessing, they enrage you in one instant and the next they want to make you cry.
I know exactly where you are coming from, very uplifting.
Thanks for visiting, Steve! Yes, they send us on a rollercoaster of emotions, don’t they? But it’s one heck of a ride…
Hey, we had that “traffic” puzzle game, i recognize your truck and I feel your pain!
Rush Hour! Really fun game, and cool to see my oldest being able to do some of the puzzles. Not as fun when her toddler brothers get hold of it.
Thanks for visiting, Jersey Girl!
Great post, it sounds familiar! In my house the green truck would have stayed under the tv cabinet and the children would be bribed with raisins until they had forgotten about it lol.
Kate: Thanks! My hubby is actually rubbing off on me a bit with the whole “let’s put things away” nonsense. A very little bit. I’m actually so proud that a few of our games have all the pieces to them IN THE SAME BOX. That never happened in our house growing up. Didn’t know it was possible. So, there’s the real motivation for the truck adventure.
Yeah, but happy to bribe or disctract in most situations. 
Thanks for visiting!
ROTFL!! Oh, I just did a similar thing with my toddler and those stupid leapfrog fridge magnets - animal halves and letters, they slide easily under my fridge and stove, AGH!!! Our how-to is up as well if you’d like to check it out!!
Hey MamaDuck! I’ve seen those LeapFrog fridge magnets and thought we should have them. I’m rethinking that now.
Is this THE Kate Hudson?
It’s THE Kate Hudson that commented on my blog.
LOL @ the Kate Hudson thing!
Kids are awesome! I want to get some of my own someday!
We have a puggat right now and he keeps us busy. Thanks for the good read! I thought the how to was going to tell how a green truck smashed into your house and was stuck under your tv stand when I read the title on Darren’s blog. Wow, pleasantly surprised! My How To is up also.
Busy Mom: Hello! So excited to have you visiting here.
Matt: Thanks for visiting here! No, thankfully, no real truck in my living room. Though I can’t say that there’s much at this point in the parenting game that would surprise me. It’d be another “Oh great” and figure out how to deal.